Boston Dating Service - Dating as a Baby Boomer
You?re a Baby Boomer and find yourself back in the dating world.? What?s different today than when you were dating in your 20s? As a Boston Dating Service working with Baby Boomers, we have heard 1000?s of examples of whats different.? And today?s article in the Boston Globe does a great job discussing this issue:? Baby Boomers Return to Dating.
When you were dating in your 20s, kids weren?t in the picture, so you didn?t have to juggle babysitters, think about ?when do I introduce him/her to my kids?, do we have our kids meet, I live on the North Shore, she?s on the South Shore, what if we develop a relationship?? What do we do about our kids school systems, where they have their friends.
When we were dating in the 90?s, there were no cell phones, the internet was in it?s infancy, we didn?t declare our relationships on FB, we couldn?t Google the person we were going out with, and there was no internet dating.?
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Our dating experiences primarily happened ?organically?.? That is, we might have met someone when out with friends, or were ?fixed? up by friends.? We actually called them on the telephone to talk before the date, break the ice a bit.? We couldn?t Google them to learn about them before we went out with them.? Rather, if fixed up, we relied on your friends telling us what a great person he/she is, and we would have so much in common.? After the date, if we had no further interest, even if we said we would call, we wouldn?t call them, or, for the women, we wouldn?t return their calls.? For the men, if we really liked them, we might think:? how many days before I call her.? And for the women, if he hadn?t called in the next few days, did this mean he didn?t like me?
Now that were a Baby Boomer, many of us with kids, everything?s been turned on it?s head.? Women are just as likely to ask a man out.? Our network of friends who had acted as Matchmakers when we were in our 20s are now vested in their own lives, and the referrals have been drying out.? As we?ve advanced our careers, we?re less likely to date at the work place.? We have on-line dating and Dating Organizations to help facilitate meeting people.? Once matched with someone, we quickly run to Google them, or look at LinkedIn, to learn as much about them as possible.? We may try to find them on Facebook.
Then, after our first meeting (was it really a date or more a meeting to see if there might be chemistry), the texting begins.? Do I text her/him when I get home to let my date know I had a good time.? All too often, when at least one of the 2 people likes the other one, they begin texted way TOO much, starting with the next day.? Invariably it starts with a mild ?Had great time, looking forward to seeing you again?.? Later in the day, a text saying:? ?Thinking of you.? Hope you?re having a great day?.? Later that day, another text ?What did you do today??.??? Try to think of texting as how you would have acted 20 years ago when all we had was a phone.? You might phone her the next day to say you had a nice time, and would she like to go out again.? If she said yes, you would perhaps suggest a specific day, or say you would call her later in the week.? Today, it?s okay to text the next day and say that you had a nice time.? If she responds back positively, suggest that you?ll call her later in the week.? Use text sparingly.? Think about how we all get frustrated that our kids only text with us and don?t talk on the phone.
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